It's too much for a simple facebook post, today is an important day, and there is a lot to be said. Bare with me as it may be long, but what deserves more focus in life than equality? I'm going to tell you how i feel, how i see things, and maybe they wont align with your own thoughts, but i hope that the overall message does. I'm even going to touch on racisim in my own family, and how just because someone is lost in hate, that there is hope for change. Racism is very much learned, we are not born with hate in our heart. But we can be taught, and we can be the change!
I have struggled today to put my thoughts and feelings into words. This is an emotional topic for many. People feel hurt and unheard on all sides. But at the end of the day, i hope this period we have entered can have a lasting and positive impact. I will never know what it feels like to be a minority, but i do know how it feels to have a family that consists of minorities, and the pain of knowing tough conversations and lessons for my own mixed children. They are love, they are the ultimate product of two people of different race, but who have grown together and learned together and are like minded.
What is Juneteenth? It's ok if you are just now hearing of this. Lets be real, this sort of thing is glossed over or completely ignored in history class. The great thing about being human, is we can always learn more. There is not time stamp on when you can no longer open up your mind and seek more knowledge. Juneteenth is a reference to June 19, 1865. it was the day that the last slaves in Galveston Texas were finally emancipated over two and a half years after the emancipation proclamation. In all reality this should be a national holiday and here in 2020 they are finally trying to pass this. This is independence day in my eyes. The day where all American's would be free. Though honestly that's not what it really means. Sure by law slaves were free, but were they really? Where were they to go, who were they to become? If you want to dig into systematic racism this was the start. Clearly racism was strong before this date, but this would be a date in history where though free, black people would be held down for many many years to come. I'm not going to dive into the origins or systematic racism, i don't have the time as i sit her with a baby in my lap. But if you have doubts please do some research. There are many amazing documentaries and books on this.
Why is this such a big deal this year, vs past years? Is it though? I would argue that this has always been a huge deal among the black community, but a lot of the rest of our citizens either didn't know about it, or didn't give it much thought. However this year things are changing. The word is out. People are fed up with how minorities have been treated. Yay for a win. Let's face it minorities have been fed up with this for as long as that first ship of slaves hit our land. But now more and more allies from other races are coming forward. This moment in time is huge. Protests all over the country and it's been going strong for weeks. Protests around the world even. Throw out your white guilt, if you feel white guilt then your not part of the solution. If you feel white guilt then i hope you have a good reason and you can do some soul searching to be a stronger allie. White does not equal bad. Just as Black does not mean bad. If the first thing you think when you hear BLM is that you should feel bad because your white then i think the message is lost on you. All anyone wants here is equality, to be treated fairly, and to feel as though they matter as much as anyone else.
White Privilege, it's real, and no it doesn't mean you are personally to blame, but it is important to accept it and own it, and help change it!
I see the argument all the time, white privilege isn't real, i've been pulled over, i haven't had anything handed to me.But White privilege doesn't mean these things. It simply means that you are getting a head start on the race. (figuratively) You can be poor, and have to work hard in live and still have privilege. Generally as a white person you don't' feel the need to work twice as hard to be taken as seriously as someone of color. You can call the cops for help and not fear that it's going to get turned around in some way and you will become the victim. You don't' have to worry that the doctors that are there to help you are going to treat you differently because of the color of your skin. (yes this is a thing) You don't have to worry that your child will grow up and be targeted in the same way. If your white, you got some privilege like it or not. You don't necessarily need to feel guilty about it, but you should own it, and think about it a bit. Think about how and where it comes from, and how we can change it. It may be important to note that BLM is not looking to be privileged, they're looking to be equal and matter.
Black Lives Matter, It's a phrase, it's a movement, it's real. As with all groups of people, you will find bad apples in every bunch. Do not let the bad apples spoil the bunch! Don't let the message be lost. Black lives do matter, they matter as much as the rest of us. Don't feel the need to adjust to all lives matter, or white lives matter, or blue lives matter. Because here is the thing, saying one matters does not mean the rest do not. But here is another thing. saying All lives matters feels like deflection. People didn't say this before BLM. People didn't feel the need. You know why? Because we live in a country where white people have not really had to question if they matter or not.
Now i don't want to skip over other slavery in our country. I know someone will point it out, they always do. It is not my main focal point, and not really what this post is about but i feel i should touch on it a little here. I am very much Welsh On my fathers side. (hence the thick dark hair, brown eyes and nice tan in the summer) But i also have a lot of Irish in me. White people love to bring up the history of Irish slavery in this country. This is deflection, and a little incorrect. Unlike black slaves who were forcefully brought here and sold into slavery generally for their whole lives. Irish "slaves" where actually indentured servants. What does this mean? essentially they came here by choice and were worked as indentured servants to pay their way here. Yes it was unfair and sometimes they never came out the other side but they did choose (many not all). Why? This was talked about a lot in my family as a child, it was the great potato famine of 1845, and this is how my Irish side actually came to America. It is also known as the great hunger. A fungus ravaged the crops in Ireland that year, causing many to go hungry and unable to support themselves and family. A big difference when compared to actual slavery in America. Please don't use this as an excuse to, make black slavery seem not so bad. Cause it's a cop out!
One last point in regards to how the Irish, or other white races have been treated unfairly in our country, because it is true they have been spat on and cursed at as well. Here is the thing, white racism from these times have faded out, you look at most white people and you will have no idea where their roots come from. Look at a person of color and bam, you have a pretty good idea right? It's hard to blend into the crowd when your black, or Asian, or Mexican, etc.
Black People kill black people they only care about when white people do the killing, or They need to fix their own communities if they want respect it's earned at home first.
This is the biggest line of you know what. Yeah Black people kill black people, guess what white people kill white people. In fact just about every race combo you can think of has killed one another. The vast majority of minorities, are good people. They are teachers, leaders, police, parents, tax payers etc. Remember before when i said a few bad apples, don't let them spoil the bunch. Don't let comments like these sway you into believing that black people and communities are solely to blame for their own problems. They are not. A lot of black people live day to day keeping things in. Acting a way so that others will take them seriously, they get told things like, your not really black, not you, oreo etc. They get crapped on for things like natural hair styles, they try to blend in. They do crazy things to try and fit a narrative. They bleach their skin etc. So that others will see them as safe, good. This shouldn't be, we should embrace our differences but we are far from that point it seems. Let's not forget there are plenty of bad apples in other groups of people as well, including the white community.
Racism is taught, but it can be changed. I believe this sentiment full heartedly. I promised to touch on racism in my own family so here you go. I personally was lucky enough to grown up in a house where we were taught that all people were equal, we don't judge people based on the color of their skin, their religious beliefs, their sexual orientation etc. I am so incredibly thankful i grew up this way. But the same isn't exactly true for my mother, and it goes back further than that. But let's start small. I can think of just one racist thing my mother said to me, it was in second grade. And i know for damn sure she doesn't believe it now, and how humiliated she feels for ever thinking it. In second grade i remember watching some random talk show on tv. It had people on the show with Vitiligo. Up until this time my Mother as far as i can remember never said anything that i would consider racist. Quite the opposite to be completely honest. But that day as a little kid, who literally had friends of all colors, i wondered what had happened to them. Why did they have white patches of skin? My mother on that day told me, it was because they had mixed with white people. That we are equal and need to treat each other the same but that God did not intend for Black and white couples to mix, and this was why. That conversation stuck with me growing up, i couldn't believe my mom had said such a thing. I mean my mom, she loves everyone WTF. It wouldn't be until i was older than we would have deeper race conversations and i would learn where this statement came from. My mother by the way will swear up and down this never happened, but it made such an impression on me i promise it happened.
So here is what i did not know about my mother as a kid. She grew up with a racist father. It's not secret, i've heard the stories, hell i've heard them at Christmas dinners. it's weird to think about, i mean my Grandmother is very forward thinking, she doesn't have a racist bone in her body. I remember her telling me stories of the first black girl that came to her school as a kid and how so many people wouldn't talk to her or touch her, and how she had forged a friendship with this girl and how wonderful of a little girl she was and how she didn't understand why people didn't like her. I think her name was Surely if i remember correctly. She had told my Grandmother proudly her name came from the Bible, "Surely he said unto me"
So here is what i understand, from my mothers own mouth as she explained it to me. My mom grew up with a racist father, she was married twice before she met my own father (she was also widowed in each of those marriages making her one of the strongest people i know). Of her own admittance she had racist beliefs.. And by racist beliefs, i mean she had been taught a lot of lies about black people. When she met my father he was the other end of the spectrum. She attributes him to her change of heart and belief system. He taught her how wrong she had been.
I remember when i was younger when i dated outside of my race for the first time. (I've dated many races back in my younger years and i wasn't sure how my mom would feel about it). When i brought it up, she was completely comfortable with anyone i chose to be with as long as they treated me right.
And this is the important part. People can change, they can overcome what they have been taught, they can learn their view points are biased and they can change. Aside from the one instance i noted above. I grew up in a home where we were taught to except everyone equally. I grew up with a best friend that was black, and eventually married a black man. I felt comfortable with that, i don't feel my Mother passed down any of those outdated and biased beliefs she learned as a child. People who would meet my mother today would never guess this was a part of her past, and that is progress. That is hope in my eyes that the future can be better for my own children.
Why are we still talking about this? Because we have so far to go, so so far to go. People like to gloss over things that are hard to talk about. These things are not forever ago, a lot of what has been happening is fairly recent. so here are some years to think about . . . . .
June 19 1865 - the day the last slaves were free
1870- Blacks could Vote (sort of, really it wouldn't be until 1965 that the voter act is signed in and makes it actually plausible for a black person to vote)
1948- Executive order to end discrimination in the military
1955- Rosa Parks steps on the scene, begins the Montgomary Bus Boycott
1956- Supreme court rules segregated seating unconstitutional.
1957- Little Rock Nine show up to school and are met with the National Guard and a Screaming Mob. After weeks they make it into school but they then have to be removed for their own safety.
1960- Ruby Bridges goes to school (desegregation of school), also the year of the Greensboro Sit in's
1961- The Freedom Riders Enter the scene, they were arrested in Mississippi, even though the prior year the Supreme Court had ordered segregation of interstate transportation facilities illegal.
1963- March on Washington
1964- Civil Rights Act
1965- Bloody Sunday Also the year Malcom X was assassinated
1967- Interracial Marriage is legalized
1968- MLK Jr Assassinated / Also the year of the fair housing act
1970's - Goodbye Jim Crow
There is way too much here to unpack, but if you havn't heard of any of these things or even if you have but don't know the details I implore you to do a little research. You may have a lot of questions answered about why people are fighting to be equal.
But why are we erasing history? Ripping down statues, changing names of towns, pulling insensitive brands? This isn't erasing history, we can still have history, we should teach it and share it. But why do you stand up for these things, why the pride in them? If one person is hurt by what they have stood for in the past and still stand for now so many years later, then that should be reason enough. We are moving forward not backwards. Change can be hard, people latch on to things. We are not the first country with a history of racist imagery etc. and we will not be the first to start to try and do away with these things. But if you feel threatened by this, stop and think about why?
It can't accomplish everything, but knowledge is power! Teach yourself, read the history for yourself, you will be surprised how much you probably were not taught in school. Teach your kids, have those difficult conversations. It doesn't matter if your black, white, hispanic, Asian etc. Teach your kids the history of America. And though the focal point for this specific blog is BLM, teach them the history of our Natives American's and what they have been through, teach them what happened with the Chinese, how they helped build our Country and how they were treated. Teach them about the Japanese, and our horrible history with internment camps. Teach, teach, teach, and keep learning for yourself as well.
We have a Country built on the idea of Freedom. We cannot truly be free, and uphold that value, until we are all equal. I know it's hard right now, we are all so on edge already with Covid, and then you throw in the protests and the riots. But protest made change. It has over the years, the sit in's, the boycotts, the march on Washington. There is momentum for change, now is a pivotal moment. Don't look back someday and think, wow i was so wrong, look back someday and think wow i'm so proud i took that stand. The world stands with the side of progress, they are filling their streets in support.
So next time you hear BLM, before you jump to say All Lives Matter, just ask yourself. Do these cuties to the right matter? Of course they do, and if you dont' think so you can just unfriend yourself cause those are my babies and my whole world. Leave it at that. Let them matter, no need to make it more than that. Just because they matter doesn't mean you don't, they are our future, lets make it a good one for them! Someday it's our kids that will hold the torch of progress, and lets hope we have done right by them and we can be that example that set them on the path of equality, and not the hand that tried to pull them back.
To all my friends and Family, i love you all, i support you, i support the cause, let us be the change. Happy Juneteenth!
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